Simplicity Parenting: Eliminating Distractions to Connect with Kids

Simplicity parenting: the term sounds like an oxymoron. Any parent will tell you that parenting is anything but simple.

In my view, simplicity parenting isn’t about finding shortcuts to make the job easier. It’s about focusing on a critical element of parenting: the connection between parent and child.

By stripping away some of the excess toys, screen time and extracurricular activities, we can focus on sharing meaningful experiences with our children.

I started thinking about the topic after reading a post entitled Simplicity Parenting on the blog Simplicity at Home. This post, in turn, was inspired by a book called Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne.

The post inspired me to apply my simplicity challenge to how I raise my children. If I can achieve these goals, even in part, then I’m certain my kids will be happier, calmer and better prepared for life.

• Reduce the number of toys: This is a hard one for me. Inexpensive toys found at garage sales or online at Kijiji have trapped me into a pattern of toy overconsumption. My boys, meanwhile, tend to spend 80 per cent of their time with 20 per cent of their toys.  And, while they enjoy independent play, they seem to enjoy their toys the most when my husband or I get down on the floor to play with them. A wise preschool teacher once told me, “an organized home is an organized mind.” With this in mind, I applied the following guidelines (inspired by Payne’s book) to shed 25% of the boys’ toys: broken, damaged or mismatched toys; free promotional toys; developmentally inappropriate toys that seem too young for the boys; and toys that tell a fixed story (from TV shows, movies or video games) and don’t encourage imagination.
• Reduce screen time: I am guilty of turning to the TV to entertain the kids when I need to get work done around the house.  And then there are other times when the TV is on out of sheer habit. This one is a no-brainer: less TV equals more time interacting with the kids. It also forces kids to find creative ways to entertain themselves. How many great discoveries have been born out of an “I’m so bored” moment? My goal is the reduce screen time by 25% and to rethink TV time in our daily routine.
• Focus on experiences: For me, this is the big one. There is a great saying: the best things in life aren’t things. When I think back to my childhood, my strongest memories are ones shared with family and friends that were outside of my regular routine. My son’s teacher actually encourages parents to take their children out school for family vacations. She says she usually sees big developmental leaps upon a child’s return from a holiday. Family vacations combine new environments and experiences with intense family time, unencumbered by routine demands. We can also maximize experiences in our daily routine by identifying new places to go, different friends to play with or new activities to try.

For more ideas about how to improve family time by getting back to basics, check out this CTV Morning Live interview with Simplicity Parenting guru Kim John Payne.