Cutting My Email Threads

My simplicity challenge this week: less email, more personal interactions. This challenge was inspired, in part, by an article I read recently in The Washington Post about a leading professor of new media who just banned technology use in class. If a digital evangelist was pulling back on technology to ignite meaningful communication and engagement, then maybe I could do the same?

I’ve known for a while that I have an addiction problem. My substance of choice is technology, specifically email. Pre-addiction, I used to pick up the phone and call people. I would meet friends for dinners and they would have my undivided, uninterrupted attention for a whole hour, sometimes longer.

Then a Blackberry entered my life.  It was a slippery slope from there as I needed better and faster technology. With my smart phone, I no longer had wasteful moments waiting at the dentist office or standing in line.  I could just whip out my smart phone for immediate entertainment and distraction.

Next, I started losing touch with some friends. Sure, we were still Facebook friends and would email occasionally, but that more intimate spark of friendship you get from sharing a meal or going for a walk together was no longer there. It was replaced by shorter snippets of conversation over technology that got our point across but relayed so little of how we were actually feeling. This had to change.

So, after a week of less email and more personal interactions, here are some personal conclusions that I've reached:

• Subconsciously, I’ve predetermined the best channel for every type of communication.  Scheduling, inquiries, and other quick updates are always done over email.  Milestones are communicated over the phone.  Communication for the purpose of building or maintaining personal friendships are always done in person. Right or wrong, I’ve created this hierarchy over the years to address the fact that I have so little free time for lengthy conversations. In the future, I will try to follow this path less rigidly and give more thought to which mode of communication would result in the most meaningful personal interaction.
• In today’s digital age, telephone conversations now seem like a very intimate thing.  The only people I call regularly these days are my husband and parents. When calling friends, I feel as though I needed to email them in advance (ironic, eh?) to ask if they can set aside some time to have a conversation. I also feel immensely grateful that they would carve out a portion of their hectic day to catch up over the phone, although I’m sure we both feel great after the call.
• I need to turn off my phone more often and invest in quality time offline.  There is too much temptation to research one last thing or read one final email. This takes quality time away from my family and me. And, I think I need to rebuild my attention span…SQUIRREL (an ode to the movie UP).

My email challenge provided a good awakening for me and, while I’m sure some bad habits will slip back into my routine, I expect to be more conscious about the communication choices I’m making each day.